My Father: Derek Frederick Cook 1945-2014

At my masters graduation - 2009

Dad was born in Brentford on 1st October 1945, to Fred and Betsy Cook. He had an older sister, Daphne and enjoyed his childhood, particularly the beach holidays they went on to Chesil Beach with his aunts uncles and cousins. 

Cousins Dave & Ray with Dad in 2013

Dad grew up with a large extended family around him in West London and in his teenage years was very close with his cousins Dave and Ray. All three were keen athletes and all joined Thames Valley Harriers. Dad was a quick sprinter and his personal best for the 100 yards was an impressive 10.2 seconds * which he told me on many occasions, was “faster than any woman could run Steve” at the time. Why he was trying to run away from women is unknown. I’ll never forget how he leapt from his chair once when Linford Christie’s coach Ron Roddan was being interviewed on the television. Ron had also been dad’s coach.

Dad was a very intelligent man and earned a place at Grammar school where he performed well in his ‘O’ Levels. After school he started working in accountancy, a profession that he continued in until his retirement in 2010. 

On a night out at The Byron in Greenford when he was 19 years old he was approached by a mysterious 17 year old young lady who asked him for the time. Mum reports that his reply was a typical Derek response of “well if you have the inclination”. According to mum she had told her friend she was going to “speak to the next bloke who came around the corner”. The formidable partnership of Chris and Del and later Mum and Dad was formed. They courted for two years, were engaged for two years and in 1969 got married in Ruislip Methodist Church.

Mum & Dad 2012

Soon after they relocated to Shoeburyness and settled in Raphael Drive. I was born in 1973 and Debbie arrived in 1976. Dad worked hard to support mum, Debbie and I and was incredibly proud of Debbie and my achievements. Dad was always there for us with advice or help with anything. He also loved our friends and I remember Christmases so fondly especially Dad polishing off a bottle of whiskey with my mate Ricki when the rest of us had gone to bed. 

Mullets 'r' Us

He travelled the ‘misery line’ for nearly 40 years working for various companies in London. His final job was at ABTA – The Travel Association. For a while Debbie and Dad travelled together to London which they both loved and Dad was very handy when it came to tube strikes – he knew London inside out. Mum said he could probably have gone on mastermind with a specialist subject of bus routes in London, as could cousins Dave, Ray & Michael. On his retirement day I was able to arrange for him to sit in the drivers cab for his last day of work. C2C presented him with some flowers too.

In Spain 2001

Dad loved his holidays and was able to visit Australia with mum on a couple of occasions as well as a couple of family holidays with Jackie, Steve and Michael in Spain and in recent years Turkey and Centre Parcs. He also loved most sports but with the ankylosing spondylitis in his back in later years, he was purely an armchair fan. Before his back condition became too severe dad and I were able to watch an England rugby game at Twickenham and even walked on the pitch afterwards. I will always treasure that memory. As a family we watched numerous Olympics, World Championship Athletics and World Cups around the television. He also loved a quiz night and I remember team Cook being champions in many pubs from Southend to Leeds. 

Dad loved his music and in his youth played the piano. I understand the cousin’s had a band for family parties. I don’t think the Beatles were too worried though. Debbie and I remember a childhood of music, normally Cliff Richard or the Beatles. 

Debbie and I are so pleased that he was able to see us both get married in 2008. He revelled in his role as father of the bride for Debbie and was bursting with pride as he walked her down the aisle and gave her away. He also delivered a brilliant speech. 

In 2009 Mum and Dad celebrated their Ruby Wedding anniversary with a fantastic black tie do at the golf club. It is a great testament to their love that they celebrated nearly 45 years of marriage – something so rare nowadays. 

Ruby Wedding Party - 2009

In 2010 Dad became Granddad to Thomas and last year to Maisie. He idolised the children and was so proud to be their granddad. Dad loved doing puzzles & playing with lego with Thomas and reveled in his starring role as Father Christmas a few years back. 

With Thomas - 2010

With Maisie - 2013

Dad was a Christian and was strong in his faith. He was baptised at Shoeburyness & Thorpe Bay Baptist Church in 1987. While in hospital Laura and I were able to speak to him about his faith and I was so pleased that I was able to tell him that Laura and I will be a missionaries from September. 

Sadly, the last couple of years were not kind to him in terms of his health and if we are honest, 50 years of smoking caught up with him. He fractured his spine in a fall in May and although that surgery went well and he was talking positively about the future, unbeknownst to any of us, he had more serious health problems which ultimately defeated him. Thankfully it was quick and he didn’t know anything about it. It is so comforting to know that he is in a better place with our Lord. 

We have been overwhelmed with the love shown by our friends and family in the last few weeks. In his tributes the same words keep coming up, KIND – GENEROUS & FUNNY. Dad was a joker until the end. When he left for the hospital in May in great pain he still managed to joke “it’s a fair cop boys” as he was was helped to the car by neighbours Roger & Sean. When recovering from the spinal surgery he was so excited at the prospect of having mobility scooter grand prix’s with Brian from next door around the close. And on the way to intensive care just before his last operation he carried on joking on the way. 

As a family we are so blessed to have such great family and friends and I know you will all support mum and show her the enormous love you have for her in the coming days, weeks months and years. They were best friends for the best part of fifty years sharing a wonderful life together. 

But there are two more things that we should all learn from dad as well as being kind and generous to everybody he ever met. He never complained about his unfortunate health problems and also he never had a bad word to say about anyone. 

He really was a true gentleman until the end. As my mate Mike wrote on his facebook wall. 

We'll miss you terribly Dad. Until we meet again.

Derek Frederick Cook 1945 - 2014

* According to Dave and Ray, Dad was yanking my chain about 10.2 for the 100 yrds dash. A joker 'til the end. Good old Del-Boy!